Why is it that everyone here is trying to give me what I don’t want? And all the things I do want are so far out of my reach, I have no idea how to reach them?
I’m living in a Stagnant place. So many people have given up on their own dreams of being a performing artist, so they try to appreciate and support me as much as possible. Ironically, it’s the other aspiring artists here that pretend to support me, but really don’t want to see me doing better than them. I used to look up to the local artists here until I realized they’re in the same position that I’m in, but they walk around with the ego of a Hollywood star.
People don’t understand or respect the fact that I went to school and earned a Degree in the Arts, so yes I am more than qualified to be a choreographer, performer, and teacher. It’s not just that I want to be paid more, I deserve to be paid more. I want a successful career not to just be well known in the community.
Everywhere I go I’m surrounded by non-professionals who think they have something to offer me. Random artists that I don’t even know continue to ask me to perform at their shows for free. Just recently, an acquaintance spent an entire show run talking about me behind my back then after the show, turns around and offers to be my “manager.” (Mind you, this person is a part time choreographer with no arts education and no experience as a manager.)
My full time job(that’s not in my field) expects me to stay in a stressful environment for the same meager pay year after year while my part time job, in my field, expects me to teach classes year round for even less money. I left a job fair last week feeling discouraged. There are no career opportunities for my skill set in this area. To top things off, a random guy in the parking lot tries to offer me a job CLEANING HOUSES!! I reached out to my sister hoping she can at least help me with a room for the summer after I helped her with Rent for the month, but of course the answer is NO.
I’m at the point where I’m frustrated with everything around me here. Everywhere I turn, I’m surrounded by dead end jobs, everyone struggling to make ends meet, the same old situations never improving, limited opportunities, mediocrity. There’s no passion, no stimulating challenges, no inspiration. I know I have to leave while I still have time to build a successful career. I’m moving forward, not back…but who’s going with me?
Peace in your Pursuit of Success and Happiness,